A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, “Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”         The parrot says, “I was born this way. I’m a defective parrot.”         “Holy crap,” the guy replies. “You actually

You might be a redneck

“You know you’re a redneck when…” 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5.